#2 train

Mad Pooper

I just used the loo at work and noticed a dried-up poo smear on the wall.
Really ladies???

"I'm gonna BBM while I have a BM."

Lentil Diet

I took a fantastic shit today, thanks to the lentils I had for dinner AND lunch. Two long and girthy logs escaped my blowhole with minimum force. It felt refreshing.

Veggie Poo

I've been having the most ginormous turds lately because I've been on a little-to-no meat diet (thanks to the vegetarians I'm surrounded by). I let a huge one go just now and when I went to wipe, I thought, 'Yay, I got my period finally' but it turns out that the blood was from my anus. That giant log MADE ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD.
Anyway, I went to flush and the thing didn't even go down the first time. It just broke in half and got stuck. Pressed the button a second time and it barely made it through. Cowadunga, dude!

Did not see that coming.

Wow, I did not just shit myself...

Poo Poo Patty

I don't know what I ate yesterday that caused my shit to come out looking like ground beef today. My stomach is crying.