I love this guy!

Poo Blame

I pooped at a house party the other day and the toilet wouldn't flush.
When I came out, I blamed the person that used it before me.

Wut?

Stink Bomb

I've been drinking so much beer lately and the farts that come the morning after are horrendous.
I hope this Extra-Strength Gas-X works.

Honk!

I just went to take a piss and let out the loudest tuba fart.
I wonder what the other people in the washroom thought about it.

How many licks does it take to get to the centre of the...

I had to force a giant Tootsie Roll out this morning and it tore my asshole just a teeny tiny bit. It hurt to wipe and it was one of those multi-wipe poops. I just gave up and showered and then put some petroleum jelly on my bum lips to soothe it. Maybe I should start shoving things up my rear to loosen it?

Log Jam

First good poo in a while. This baby had an impressive girth probably due to the fact that I haven't cleared the pipes in days. It felt like it was just dying to get out. The high-pitched squeak-fart was a good indication. I felt fantastic afterward and skipped back to my desk.

Hershey Squirt

I almost suffocated L in the shower yesterday when I (accidentally!) let out a killer poot. His facial expression was unforgettable as he swiftly dashed out of the bathroom, still soapy. I felt bad but couldn't stop laughing at the same time. Oops.

In other news, I think I may have sharted a little on my bed. Unless someone sprayed chocolate ice cream on my sheets...