Combo #5

My ass just upchucked and it wasn't pretty at all - Type 6 and extra stinky. I ate some greasy Chinese food earlier which included roasted duck, cha siew and the like. There were small boluses of pork fat floating in the toilet too. Grossies!

Crouching Tiger, Bleeding Anus

Work has been busy so I haven't had time to update.
The other day there was a rumbling in my belly and I just knew it was going to be a good one yet I didn't bother to bring my cell phone with me to the lav. Turns out I was right. My rectum gave birth to a giant mother of a turd and in turn, she bore a little baby turd. It was quite adorable. The curvatures in my poops made it seem like they were holding each other too. A Kodak moment.

Here, we have today's bowel movement which is fresh out the anus.
I don't know what it is I've been eating lately but my number twos have been colossal.

The Secret of the Ooze

Two words: butt juice.
Sometimes after a good shit my asshole leaves this slimy substance as a reminder of what a good time it had. Kinda gross.
I'm making a face right now.

(-_-)"

I wanted to take a nap on the toilet today but I don't usually take more than 3 minutes on a Number 2 so I didn't. Plus I was at work.

Pilsbury Dooboy

So I pinched one out today and it looked like one of those mini croissants. A really burnt and blackened mini croissant.
Before it was flushed down, I felt a pang of hunger.

I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE

I have to poo.

The Diarrhea Song

When you do a little dance
and it's gooey in yer pants:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.

I found this gem while I was surfing the 'net at work.
Do you know how hard it is to laugh silently?! I think I have cramps from trying to hold it in.

I took a crap at work and the stupid auto-flush went off before I got to finish wiping my butt and now my underpants are a little wet from the splashback. Yuck.