Work is the Curse of the Drinking Class

Note to self: Refrain from going out drinking when you have work the next morning.
I had about a pitcher (maybe more) to myself last night - that's not a lot of beer but I'm a small Asian girl. I wasn't too intoxicated but I should have stopped drinking sooner. The consequence? Beer flatulence. Symptoms include an uncontrollable urge to pass gas, humorous audibleness, noxious fumes, and an itchy bum. I tried to sleep it off on the train but I had to keep shifting myself in order not to let one go. Normally, I wouldn't mind cutting the cheese in public if I really had to but sometimes, you just know which ones are going to be deadly.

I'm interested to see whether or not my shits are going to be as bad.


Edit: Just took a dump and it was stinkier than usual but the consistency was okay and not leaky.