End of Year Doodies

I have returned.
Sorry about not updating but I'm back on track now. Please take these fresh pictures as a token of my sincerest apoologies.

December 6th Crap:
I don' t think I enjoyed this one very much. It was too soft and as you can see, not of a healthy couleur. C.



December 16th Crap:
This one's a little camera shy. I remember this one being really firm and pleasant to poop out without requiring too much force. A+.


Today's Crap #1:
I ate a lot of lasagna and only a dollop of potato and egg salad the previous night (which produced the most heinous farts ever). Notice how this turd cleverly positioned itself like it was deathly afraid of being flushed down into the depths of the sewers. A for effort.

Today's Crap #2:
Ah, I see what the other little guy was doing. He was waiting for this guy.
You ever get those shits where after you let it out, you still feel like you have to go? This was one of them. And it was pretty messy too. I had to clean my ass in the tub afterwards (something I rarely need to do after a poop). No amount of wiping would have given me that fresh feeling.
D. For DANG, YO.

Apoologies

Sorry for the lack of updates. I haven't had any interesting bowel movements lately.

Linear Log

I was suffering from intense cramps all morning and thought it was just PMS but they turned out to be intense poo pains instead. When I was in the john, it felt like a never-ending crap but it just came out really long and rectilinear.
...
"Rectal-linear".
or
"Poopendicular".
Okay enough but seriously, you could have probably used it as a straight edge.

Poopee Schmoopee

It's December and I haven't had any good dumps to repoort. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I stopped drinking coffee?