What's more satisfying?

Speaking of which, I just liberated a bulky shit sausage the length of a python. I feel good. I feel great.

Poo man on the run!

Yule Log

 I had trouble churning out the brown butter earlier today so I gave it another go after work. I couldn't push too hard because my sphincter was still sore from the previous day's activities but with a little coaxing, I got it to wriggle out. To my surprise, my droppings came out quite different than normal as half of it was green and the other half, red. Santa would be proud of this one.
My poor butt still hurts.

Dr. Butt Meddler

The colonoscopy was much more painful than I expected. I cried out in distress during the procedure and the doctor had to tell me to shut up a few times. The sedative didn't kick in until near the end of it all. I threw up right after. It sucked.

This is what they found and removed from my colon:

A huge mother effin' polyp.

I'm naming this one Harry, after my gastroenterologist.

That's not the only one though.  He's got a little friend still partying inside me. I have to go back in 4 weeks to get it out. Let's hope they are benign.

Let the bowel irrigation begin...

Two litres of this stuff (tastes terrible btw) plus four laxatives equals me not being able to leave the toilet for three hours.

Yes, I'm blogging from my washroom right now.

Update: My asshole really REALLY hurts.

Mudslide

Colonoscopy scheduled for next Thursday. Wish me luck?
Preparation is going to be awesome. And by awesome I mean shitty. Ha.