Long John

Produced a 9-incher just a minute ago. Didn't even know my rectum was that long.
I have the best ones when I don't have my camera with me. *sigh*

Brrrrrappuccino

Apparently I "suck at holding farts in".
It's become quite a habit for me to hold shits in until the last possible moment. I don't know why I continue to do it knowing there's a chance I could have an accident in my pants. Today was no different. I felt it coming but I kept working away until I felt a kick in my rectum. I finally decided to go when the urge to cut the cheese came. At this point, I'm trying my best to hold them in but when I got up to walk to the restrooms, I let one escape by accident. I had no control! It happened right when I walked by the receptionist and as I was heading out the door. I was this --> <-- close to being in the clear. The receptionist was having a chat with another girl but my toot was still audible. Well I heard it. I'm sure if I heard it, they heard it too.
Brrrap!

Bloody Mess

I took a nice dump yesterday but I didn't take a picture because it was just too disgusting for viewing. It was just a bloody mess from me being on my period and whatnot so I'll spare you the image and just let you know that it's not very nice to look at. The girls who read this blog understand. Right, Michelle?

Crap on the Cob

I produced a unique-looking turd today. Apologies for the lack of photographic evidence.
'Twas likely due to it gathering in my system for the last two days that made it look the way it did. I hadn't really eaten anything unusual or different from my regular diet so that must be it. Anyway, as it was shimmying out of my rectum, it felt a little peculiar almost like shitting out pellets but to my surprise, it all came out in one piece. I chuckled a little upon turning around to take a closer inspection. The front end (the end that came out first) had a similar appearance to that of corn on the cob - small protrusions of poop jutting out, though in a random pattern - whilst the rest of it just looked like a regular log. A wave of regret swept over me momentarily as I wished I had taken my camera with me to the bathroom. Oh well.

Satisfied.

Today was a good day.

Look how cozy they are, nestled in the nook of the bowl. It brings joy and warmth to my heart to see them like that.

Birthday BM

Sorry I've been lacking in posts this week. Celebrated my 24th birthday over the weekend but that's no excuse. So here's a picture of my poop the day after the celebration.
As you can tell, my cake was full of cream hence the irregularity in my caca.

Picture Perfect Poo

I produced a sweet one today at work. It was nice, long and juicy but too bad I didn't have my camera with me. I would have loved to show it off. Next time!

Peep & Poop / Ring of Fire

I thought I was the only one who noticed the flooring in the brand new restrooms at work. Yesterday was the first time I used the loo with someone doing their business in the stall next to mine. As I was finishing up, I noticed how reflective the granite (or whatever fancy igneous rock is used for the floor tiles) is. I couldn't help but wonder if the person next to me could see me so I took a glance. You can definitely see their shadow and the vague appearance of their face. I'm not sure but I think I made eye contact. Good thing it wasn't a person who worked in my department or it would have been completely awkward.

Speak of the doo-doo devil. Here it comes now. BRB.

As I was saying, I overheard someone else mention the flooring as I was leaving the restroom today. I hope they mention this to Cadillac Fairview so they can do something about it.

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Okay, killing two birds with one stone here. Or killing two poops with one flush? Anyway, I just got back from doing a big dirty and let me tell you when I say big dirty, I definitely mean it.
Flush count: 7.
The first log was huge and had a nice firmness to it. I was pretty proud of myself after I stood up though just when I was about to zip up I felt another poo pang so I sat back down and let 'er rip.
Number two was a bit softer and this time left floaty pieces post-flush. As I crouched over to wipe, I felt more pains and had to sit back down again.
The third time was disastrous. It almost had the consistency of diarrhea and cleanup was very messy. I couldn't help but let out a sound of relief as it was all pouring out. Luckily, there was no one else in the restroom during this debacle. My poor anus is still a little tender from all the pooping and vigorous wiping. I probably went through half a roll in all.

I suspect it was the spicy Thai chili canned tuna I consumed for lunch the previous day. It explains why my bum hole is burning.

!!!!!!!!

I took this perfect shit in the brand new restroom at work today but as I was grabbing for my camera, the thing flushed itself! Damn automatic toilets!

Post-Thanksgiving Dinner Poop

Instead of a turkey dinner, we had lamb.

Mmm, pointy.

Happy Thanksgiving

The overall outcome of this doo-doo was disappointing compared to the amount of pain it gave me.

Wait until you see my diarrhea.

Google AdSense rejected my application because they found my Daily Repoorts to be offensive. Hmph.

I'll show you offensive! *shakes fist*

My stomach says no but my bowels say yes.

I've been feeling under the weather lately. I think I'm coming down with something. Wait, here it comes...oh...one sec...whoop...*ker-plunk*.
Ahh, relief.

Poo Shy

Don't you hate it when you are on your way to the restroom and you bump into one of your co-workers heading there as well? You're both chatting on the way there and even in the stalls until the sound of the first drop of pee splashes into the toilet and then you're both silent. The conversation is interrupted by the sounds of you both urinating/defecating. Great. And then you don't know if you should wait for the other person to continue the conversation as you're heading back.
This just happened to me.
I got poo shy. I felt rushed for some reason so I shat as fast as I could (I don't even think I wiped my ass properly) and came out to find she didn't wait for me. Not that I expected her to because it would have been pretty awkward trying to carry on the conversation after hearing someone shit.
Anyway, the point of this entry is I didn't have a good BM and couldn't snap a shot of it because of this.
Sorry guys. I feel as though I've let you down.