One time, I was taking a dump and reading something very important on my phone. And upon looking at my hand-and-phone shadow on the floor, I realised something incredible: this was the exact profile silhouette of President Abraham Lincoln.
Forget your Virgin Mary pee stains and your Jesus faces burnt in toast; this is the real deal. The Great Emancipator, cast in shadow from my porcelain throne.
I am optimistically awaiting a reply from the Smithsonian regarding this. Wish me luck.
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