Eureka!

I evacuated my bowels yesterday but I forgot to snap a picture of it. It was firmer this time even though I had a coffee beforehand.
I think I found the difference between Second Cup and Starbucks!

Ditto Doodie

My dung today was no different than yesterday's. Same colour, same consistency, same density.

I normally enjoy the firmer kind. The ones that excrete with ease. Ones that have no need for multiple sphincter pinching. A quick and painless release. A 'Dunk-n-Dash' if you please.

Easy come, easy go. Or is it?

Dude, Red Bulls (basically all energy drinks) do not agree with my stomach. And more importantly, my bowels.
I decided to skip coffee this morning and have a Red Bull instead. When the moment came, I crouched over the toilet seat and all I did was let out a fart and my shit came out. It sounded like this:
"PFFFBT."
. . .
"Plop."

Fuckin' gross.

The Lone Poop

It came at an unexpected time today and it came quite fast. I was doing some photocopying and couldn't stop and leave for the restroom right away (our restrooms are currently under construction so everybody has to go up a floor) so I decided not to answer. Went back to my desk and it kicked at my door again and I tried oh so hard to keep that door closed! I accidentally let out two squeaks of a fart but thank God, the lady in the next cubicle has headphones on all the time. You should have seen me shifting in my seat fumbling in my purse for my cell phone.
I made it upstairs in time but when I sat down, I had to wait a bit for it to come back. Fickle bitch.

Whew!

After not hearing from my bowels for two days, I got a little worried. But have no fear, Monday mornings are almost always regular. And that coffee helped. A lot. Within 20 minutes of consuming my usual order, Mr. Doodie came knocking furiously at my door.
So this, here, is a build-up of a couple of days worth of...um...crap.
Gosh, this one was smeary. It took me five wipes to get my chocolate starfish clean. Ugh, I hate those kinds of poops.

For those of you that are interested (I'd like to believe that you are otherwise you wouldn't be here) in what I ate the last two days, here's a list:
-curry chicken and potatoes
-cauliflower
-potato chips
-a quarter of an assorted sub
-beer
-white wine
-beef patty
-salmon salad with avocado
-sirloin steak with soy beans and a little bit of corn

Are we there yet?

Nothing (yet!) to repoort today even though I had a lunch chock-full of fibre.

Number 2

After a delicious dinner at the Pickle Barrel this evening, I disappeared into the lavatory after paying the bill to force this little sucker out.
I swear I thought it was going to be a big, dirty one but instead I got this.
What a disappointment.

First Poost

Sadly, I have no pictures for the premier post so words will have to suffice. I remembered to bring my cell phone to the restroom for my morning plop at the office but I was too embarrassed to snap a shot of it as there were 3 other squatters in there with me. If I had my camera it would have been a different story but because my cell phone makes that shutter sound when I take pictures, I chickened out. Perhaps I can try to describe what came out of me instead.

It wasn't very consistent this time, half of it retained its shape and the other half broke into pieces when it hit the bowl. The colour was dark and it had a distinct odour this time. A little stronger than usual but nonetheless unpleasant to the nose.
Blame it on the Caramel Corretto from Second Cup.