Evacuate

The fire alarm went off at work this morning. And then almost immediately, I had these sharp pains in my stomach telling me to head to the crapper. I had a feeling it was going to be a rank one so I dodged into the accessible washroom for privacy. There weren't any disabled employees on our floor anyway. I almost ripped my button off anxiously trying to pull my pants down. Oh it was coming and it was coming quick. I was right about it being rank. It looked disgusting too. An almost liquid Type 6. Mustard yellow. It just oozed out of me. I had to wipe quite a few times too. The whole time I was shitting the alarm was still going off and I prayed that we didn't have to evacuate the building. Just as I was zipping up, building management announced that everything was under control.
There was no fire. But my asshole sure as hell burned.