Honk!

I just went to take a piss and let out the loudest tuba fart.
I wonder what the other people in the washroom thought about it.

How many licks does it take to get to the centre of the...

I had to force a giant Tootsie Roll out this morning and it tore my asshole just a teeny tiny bit. It hurt to wipe and it was one of those multi-wipe poops. I just gave up and showered and then put some petroleum jelly on my bum lips to soothe it. Maybe I should start shoving things up my rear to loosen it?

Log Jam

First good poo in a while. This baby had an impressive girth probably due to the fact that I haven't cleared the pipes in days. It felt like it was just dying to get out. The high-pitched squeak-fart was a good indication. I felt fantastic afterward and skipped back to my desk.