10 out of 10

You know it's a good one when it doesn't leave a residue around your sphincter.

Birthday Bundle

The cupcakes that Michelle and Darren made on Sunday are supposed to turn your shit into a rainbow because you can't digest the food colouring. Darren claimed he had a very blue poo but this is what I got. Disappointment. :( I didn't doodie all day Monday either so I hoped that the upcoming load would be big and bright. Sadly, all I got was this disgusting green plop. I made the picture smaller because I'm not very proud of it.
Later in the evening, my stomach went crazy and I sharted twice. It's the next morning and my anus still hurts. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Edit: Check out the shape of my turd. Looks like I pulled a Zorro! (I know it's backwards. It's really hard to spell with your ass, okay.)

Hot Shot

I just went to take a piss and upon crouching down, a long fart escaped. Of course I chuckled, which lead me to recall the hilarious incident that happened on Saturday when Owen decided to let one rip while we were riding our bikes in the dark. That made me chuckle even more. Highlight of the Nuit.
(As I typed this I laughed out loud and choked a little bit and then tried to hide it with a cough. I'm smooth.)

Does anyone read this shit anymore?

Dainty Toot

me: i just let one rip by accident

ok, not accident, on purpose
carson: haha

silent?

u have ppl sitting near you?
me: yeah, the lady in the next cubicle

silent poooof

kind of like a cotton ball bouncing on my anus

I just gave birth to a nice brown bundle of...joy.

Prevent Poo-llution