I took this perfect shit in the brand new restroom at work today but as I was grabbing for my camera, the thing flushed itself! Damn automatic toilets!
When I was at Wonderland recently, I was pooing and THE GOD DAMN FLUSHER KEPT FLUSHING ITSELF EVERY THIRTY SECONDS. I thought, 'Oh shit, maybe I moved and caused this to happen,' so I tried to stay very very still. BUT IT HAPPENED OVER AND OVER AND OVER. You know how hard it is to take a dump when the toilet is flushing while you're sitting on it and you have to jump up to avoid the splish splash?!?!
I started this blog because my very good friend, Darren, got sick of listening to me go on about my dumps so now he has the option of visiting this site whenever he feels the need to be repulsed by a very normal human routine. Yeah I know, that guy is totally weird.
When you need to let one rip, and you feel a warm, wet drip: Diarrhea, diarrhea. ------------------------------- When you feel your tummy bubble, and your ass says 'Here comes trouble...' Diarrhea, diarrhea. ------------------------------- When you're bulging in the pants, and you do the poo poo dance: Diarrhea, diarrhea. ------------------------------- When you have an itchy anus, and your farts come out all heinous: Diarrhea, diarrhea.
3 comments:
I had a hard painful poo this morning that left a slightly bloody bumhole this morning and it reminded me of you :)
When I was at Wonderland recently, I was pooing and THE GOD DAMN FLUSHER KEPT FLUSHING ITSELF EVERY THIRTY SECONDS. I thought, 'Oh shit, maybe I moved and caused this to happen,' so I tried to stay very very still. BUT IT HAPPENED OVER AND OVER AND OVER. You know how hard it is to take a dump when the toilet is flushing while you're sitting on it and you have to jump up to avoid the splish splash?!?!
I love poo anecdotes!
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